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The truth is you’ll always have time for busy; do whatever you want to take care of you.

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There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on, especially if you’re a person that wants a huge life. There will always be a situation where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out. I can guarantee that! There will be deadlines at work. You’ll have a medical emergency. You’ll feel guilty about what you did last night, last week and last year. The world, hell, the universe will be screaming for your attention! This blog includes a list of 13 ways to Live Life Your Way and live by your own design.


1. NO is what you say to anything that isn’t important to you

Laundry isn’t important to me. Having clean clothes is what’s important and I don’t have to do it. I can give it to someone else to do for me, and I can use the time saved to do something else for myself. If “no” is too hard for you to say, start simply by saying “no” but offer an alternative option that you’d prefer more.

2. Ask for help
Asking for help is really important. A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help. Does this sound like you? Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask, make sure you use it. Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then don’t use it. Most people revel in seeing you become successful and happy; it makes them feel useful and important. But also remember that people have the right to say yes or no when asked for help. People are grown and responsible for the choices they make; it’s not your position to choose for them. Don’t underestimate people and try to take advantage of them in a negative way. You’ll turn them off, and they’ll never agree to help you again.

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3. Stay in contact
It’s important to stay in contact with your friends. People like to be acknowledged and feel like their friendships are important. There are 6+ billion people on the planet, and if you feel like you have no friends and no one loves you, then you know that you’re not being a good friend. You need to express love and share love. Love is addictive. Giving love and expressing love feels good. Try it. Send a text, email, or make a quick call to let someone know you’re thinking of them; it’ll make a world of difference to your friend.

Try this on for size – send out “I was thinking about you” messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back. It’s not weird. I’m doing five right now. Stop what you’re doing and just do it. The first five people in your phone to start. Generally, the people you keep in your phone are friends. You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone; most will be okay with it. However, keep in touch with people as best as you can – it will keep you happy and keep you inspired in your life.

4. Surround yourself with things you like
Surround yourself with things you enjoy or like. Don’t buy or bring into your emotional space things you don’t enjoy or like as they will pull emotional energy from you. When you’re in a dumpy mood or have low energy, having things around you that you enjoy can cheer you up and bring up your energy levels.

5. Create a ‘Gratitude List’
I usually provide this as a tool to my clients. At first, they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do; another chore in a list of things I don’t have time for. Once they start it, they realize that when they’re grateful about what they have in their lives, they don’t have time to whine about the things they don’t have.

Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences, whether you have a tendency to make negative decisions or have negative people around you. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work through our subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect. Create a daily gratitude list – one where you share back and forth with like-minded friends who will empower you; creating dialogue instead of monologue – where negative thoughts don’t have a chance to pollute your mind. Gratitude has the power to move you forward.

Keep a gratitude journal that you can go back to whenever you need a little boost. My clients who keep a gratitude journal and write in it on a continual basis experience a fuller and more expansive life, and see their goals develop faster.

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6. Keep a planner to stay organized
Keeping a planner makes life less crazy. It’s good practice to put all the things that are important to you into it, including all things fun! Many people put in doctor’s appointments, work meetings and children’s play dates, but they don’t really schedule time for fun. Get into the habit of adding fun time to your planner. It’s a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you’ve scheduled time for vacation, but it’s also great to see that you’ve scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own.

7. Keep track of your wins
Write down your wins and keep notes on your achievements. Writing down your wins, achievements and milestones will help you when you feel that you’ve hit a wall in your personal life and allow you to see your positive contributions.

8. Make your appearance your own
Make sure you like what you wear, have your own personal style and look the way you want. You don’t have to have the latest fashions but it’s good to have your own look that’s unique to you.

With regard to your body and your clothes, do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms or legs do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them? If so, work on them or shut up! You’re in charge of what you look like. Your style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself. Be bold and move with boldness. Generate your energy. Mousiness will never look great; even in the best of clothes. For example, you could go out wearing sweatpants and give an air of confidence while wearing them because you feel confident, not because you’re trying to hide something about yourself.

When you go out to shop, make sure you shop for what you really like; bring a trusted friend who can share with you his/her honest opinions about how you look. The ultimate truth is – if you’re confident in your image, you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.

9. Create a go-to Group
A go-to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust; friends that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you, they create a bigger stand for you in your life and they’ve got your back. They’ll remind you gently when you need a good shake-up.

If you can’t afford a coach, a go-to group is perfect. Your group must not coach you or tell you what to do; what they’ll do is remind you who you are and the commitment and goals that you’re creating for your life. They’ll provide you with pep talks and reality checks. Also, make sure you’re a positive contributor to your go-to group to continue the circle of positivity.

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10. Do something silly that makes you laugh until your tummy hurts
Go and see a really silly movie – there are a ton of them out there! When you go to a silly movie, you should laugh naturally, what I mean by naturally is at your own noise level and length of time. Be you; don’t go to the movie and do what everyone does – the movie laugh track, when everyone starts laughing at the same time and finishes at the same time. So unnatural. That is censoring a natural emotion. Laugh until you are completely done.

I went to the movies on a date with a guy. We went to see Fat Albert. The movie was so corny! It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing. It was great to just laugh. However, my date said aloud, “Note to self – never take you to see a movie again.” Ask me if I cared.

I feel that laughing at a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the big screen. I had a great time and felt completely free! Laughing makes you feel better and is good for you. Laugh often and laugh loud – it’s contagious! Make and share jokes, engage your peeps and laugh at lot. Every time you laugh, a comedian get his chops. LOL!

11. Be emotionally okay
Be okay with your emotions; you have emotions so you can express them. Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you’re sad, express it, however, express it in a way that allows you to complete the cycle.

Don’t go digging for sadness; don’t go dredging up old relationships and add them to your new ones. If you need a good cry, cry and complete it. Don’t blame other people for your sadness, your need to cry or for your crying. If you’re stressed out, look at what’s causing the stress and create new actions to relieve it. Stress is a big killer and I’m sure you don’t want to die or suffer stress-induced illness. Release all emotions, frustrations, and anger in a healthy and responsible way. You’ll feel so much better after the release.

12. Write things down
Conversations and thoughts disappear, so write them down. Get yourself a little notebook and any time you have a great idea, learn something valuable from a conversation you’re having or go to a yummy restaurant, write it down. Because let’s be honest, you live a big life, you have tons sitting in your brain and you won’t remember. Save your brain cells!

Also, when you whip out your little book in front of a loved one, you’re actually telling that person that what they’re saying is valuable enough to write down and you make him/her feel special.

13. Accept yourself as you are
Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and love yourself every moment. Don’t think about things that you haven’t achieved yet. Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation. You’re very different and unique from everyone else. You’re one-of-a-kind and quite beautiful. Accept your uniqueness; your path is different from everyone else’s.

Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt. Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with some compassion. Show people who you are. When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you. When you judge yourself, you stand in the way of your self-love and you separate yourself from others. Stop separating and accept yourself now. You don’t have to change anything about yourself.

Now, go out there with the advice from this two-paper series and start living your biggest and best life!

13 ways to live life by your own design

If you need help with any of the points on this list, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at noreensumptercoach.com to make an appointment for a FREE 15-minute hello call! I’m looking forward to speaking with to help you start your journey towards your best self! Love yourself! Until next time!

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Noreen Sumpter

Noreen Sumpter is a Personal Life Coach: Born and raised in South East England. Noreen Came to New York in 1985 with $60.00 and a suitcase. She is a Personal Life Coach, Founder and creator of the Live...

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