I really have a hard time discussing race and racism. I start to stumble over my words more than I usually do. I am afraid that my intentions are misunderstood. I tend to keep my thoughts to myself during these discussions, in order to prevent myself from saying something inappropriate or insensitive.

Interestingly, I work for a minority-run organization, I write for a Black-owned newspaper, and my partner is African-American as well: I can imagine that other white people, especially those that do not have the fortune of knowing many non-whites, struggle with this.

As you might have noticed, in the previous sentence I used minority, Black, African American, and non-white to refer to one and the same constituency. I did that on purpose so I could bring up one of the struggles regarding discussing race.

I think that some people do not like the referenced term Black and prefer African-American. But what if someone is Caribbean American or African or Pacific Islander or Hispanic? It would not be appropriate if I referred to her or him as African American or is it?

The word minority also seems completely off. Minority is less than majority. Less of what? Less in quantity? Not where I work or live. I dont feel at all that I am working for or with minorities. Leaves us with non-white, but that is also unfair. As if we are dumping everyone that is not white into one other category? Nah, doesnt feel right either.

This is just an example, but it hits the nail on the head with what is in the way of having truthful open discussions on race. White people and racial minorities often cannot relate when talking race and racism. Its not just a matter of using the right words and expressions, but it is also how we experience and perceive the whole concept of race.

When white people think about racism, they often think about obvious and intentional racism such as racial slurs or blatantly discriminating someone based of the color of their skin. And although this is reality and of concern, the actual threat nowadays comes from more subtle and complex forms of racism.

The rookie cop that shot Mr. Gurley, did not wake up in the morning with the thought I am going to kill a black person today, but perhaps there is a level of institutional conditioning at play to be more afraid of black people than of white people that might have contributed to the police officer pulling the trigger leading to Mr. Gurleys demise.

Same for the officer that choked Mr. Garner. I dont believe that the officer took Mr. Garner in a chokehold because he was black per se. However, in my opinion the officers actions might have been racially biased. If the officer was racially biased towards thinking that black people are more dangerous than white people, it could have unconsciously led to him use more force than would have been the case otherwise. We probably will never know for sure. But heres something new for you: racial bias is not something reserved for police officers it looms in all of us.


During a particular study to asses someones level of racism (see Project Implicit), participants are asked to categorize photos of individuals as either African American or European American while at the same time categorizing words as either good or bad words. Sometimes the participant is asked to sort African American faces and good words to one side of the screen. Other times, black faces are to be sorted with bad words.

The participant, in an attempt to not come off as racist, will try to assign bad and good words to African and European American photos alike. However what the participant does not realize is that she or he is actually being tested on the time it takes to assign either negative or positive words to African or European Americans.

It appears that the vast majority of participants, both black and white, is much faster at pairing negative words with photos of African Americans. This implies that most of us are racially biased whether we want it or not. See also the following article: The Science of Why Cops Shoot Young Black Men. By the way this is not the only study. There is tons of research that shows that people in general are racially biased.

To me this is shocking, but it is also helpful. Because now that we know this, the first step to having meaningful conversations on racism is to acknowledge that we are racially biased. Phrases such as I am color blind, I have many black friends, and I am not a racist do not add anything, because by saying that, you ignore the fact that you are racially biased regardless.

What does help is acknowledge, learn, listen, act, and in case of making a mistake, apologize. I would like for you to see Franchesca Ramseys video blog that was posted in the Huffington Post. She describes in a succinct way what it takes to meaningfully contribute to conversations on race and racism.

The first thing she says is, that in order to make a contribution, you have to understand your privilege. Dont think of privilege as having more money and never having to experience hardship or struggle. Privilege simply means that there are some things in life that you will never have to experience or think about simply because of who you are. That makes sense to me.


A couple of other things to take into account when opening up the discussion on race and racism. Reject the he was a good kid narrative: it supports the notion that as a norm black people are not good and have a tendency towards crime.

Another one: All lives matter versus Black lives matter. Some are arguing for changing Black lives matter into All lives matter. This will ignore the issue altogether. Its like walking into a convention about cancer and shouting to all the participants present, that there are also other diseases out there that require attention.

Being mindful on language seems to be a recurring theme. Thats the scary part, because a lot of time white people say stuff without realizing that it offends someone. So when discussing race it might be good to start with saying something like:

Ok, I would like to talk to you about race, but Im not an expert and I might make mistakes. I have no intention to do that but I want to learn. If I offend you in any way, will you let me know immediately so we can make it part of this conversation?

By the way, being open to discussing race does not mean that from now on you have to bring up race and racism every time you encounter someone of another racial makeup. People of color are not necessarily busy with race all the time. And because someone is black, does not mean that he or she is or wants to be considered an expert on racism either. Most importantly, race is not the only thing that defines people of color.

I know, it seems like there are so many rules, but no-one said it would be easy. I think it really is all about mindfulness and a willingness to learn.

I would like to end with a quote from Chris Rock from a recent interview with Frank Rich in New York Magazine:

So, to say Obama is progress is saying that hes the first black person that is qualified to be president. Thats not black progress. Thats white progress. [] There have been smart, educated, beautiful, polite black children for hundreds of years. The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Lets hope America keeps producing nicer white people.


Yako and Krystal

Yako: Born on a farm in The Netherlands, Europe, I was always on quest for adventure. As a small boy, I was already interested in learning about other cultures and pretended I was fluent in American (I...

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  1. All of the verbal & naming problems are easily resolved if one remembers that to name, label, define, or describe someone from a different demographic affinity group is a supremacist act.

    We hear a lot about racism and a lot of definitions, but it is much simpler than that and it has to do with naming and labeling. Just don’t do it because doing it is an act of supremacy, and therefore bigotry and division.

    There is Old Testament reference to the power and authority in naming. And in the Sixties when oppression was spoken of more than racism, it was a widely circulated idea that the first mark of oppression was to be named or labeled or defined by another, and the second mark of oppression was to accept that name or label or description for oneself.

    This doesn’t dispose of other aspects of imbalance and inequity but it simplifies issues raised in the essay above.

    Now, a word on “allies” who are the new white supremacists. Oh, yes, the allies are all about colonizing the minds of the peoples of color with a fairly extreme version of what’s going on in the real world. Chiefly, however, the allies are attempting to put up verbal tests, not for the diverse white American peoples, but for peoples of color. It is always astounding to see a white ally rule that a member of another demographic affinity group is out of step because he or she will not conform ideologically with the extreme versions of multiracialism and multinationalism the ally is seeking to impose.

    Take note, white ally, the peoples of color can police and educate their own ranks…all the diverse white people should have the sense to just butt out and check their supremacism.

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